He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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