I'm really into asian looking animals
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
