so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
