you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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