pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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