I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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