She said her name was "party"
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
