Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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