never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
