how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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