if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
