Jerry, you need to find god
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
