i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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