Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
