I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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