I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
