i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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