I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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