I cockslap morals
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize