yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
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