just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
