There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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