Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
