Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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