I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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