maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
