she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
