do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're too hungover to prance.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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