Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
