its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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