There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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