I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
