I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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