we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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