possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
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There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
How naked do you want me to be?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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