so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
