I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The struggles of a small town man whore
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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