im six kinds of drunk right now
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
