I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize