Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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