I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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