I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
