I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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