pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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