so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
