we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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