im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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