Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
