I hope mine doesn't look like that
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize