I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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