I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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