I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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