Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
