we're blogging at a bar
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
