you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
