why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am naked and annoyed.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
