I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
