yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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