I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
